Faith · Grief

My Miracle of Rainbows

I have been pondering about sharing the story of my miracle of rainbows for some time now. There were many people who witnessed it over the course of this last year, although not in its entirety, but I also wonder if there are others who would benefit from hearing it. This has been a humbling and inspiring and deeply touching experience for me. But I’ve really been so hesitant to share it, in fear of not giving justice to the miracle that it has been.

It all started on August 22, 2016. Just shy of two months after losing Covey, and the grief was still very raw. Actually, I should stop and give some pertinent background information- first, we live on some acreage and can see the lake Covey drowned in from our property. I have to drive by it every time I leave or go to my house. And second, before this experience I could count on one hand the number of rainbows I have seen in Texas in the last decade that I have lived here. They just don’t happen that often. Lastly, once this started, I made it a point to snap a picture of all the rainbows sent to me.

Well this evening on the 22nd, I happened to be outside in the backyard and I looked up at the sky above the lake and saw a rainbow. It wasn’t a full one but a rainbow all the same. It was beautiful and heartwarming to see.

IMG_3379

The next day, I posted on Instagram the following message:

“Last night there was a small section of rainbow above the lake next to our house. This is the same lake where we were with Covey for the last time. I’ve always loved the view of that lake from our house, and it was a huge selling point for us when we bought the property. I don’t like it so much anymore. But last night as I looked at that little rainbow shining above it, I was reminded of God’s promises, specifically of everlasting life and being able to be reunited with loved ones after we die. I can’t say it made my day easier but I did feel God’s love and I am thankful for these little tender mercies and miracles He sends my way.”

Two days later I was driving home and as I passed the lake, I saw straight in front of me a bright patch of rainbow in an almost cloudless and completely rain-less sky. It was the most beautiful surprise and I started crying immediately! I shared the deep love I felt from seeing it and the previous rainbow on Facebook that night. I couldn’t not share this faith promoting experience with others!

IMG_3411

In all truthfulness I was so stunned and touched that God would send me these beautiful rainbows to express His love for me- me, a drop in the ocean compared to His numberless creations. But oh how I truly needed it at that time. And these two rainbows were just the beginning, the start to it all.

Two days later the rainbow below showed up right next to our neighbors house. In fact a lot of rainbows show up next to their house… Thankfully they haven’t mentioned anything yet about about us being weird taking so many pictures of their house! lol

14068492_10153768389726120_1483849974450940828_o

Over the course of that next week, there were rainbows popping up daily, seen by myself, friends, and family in the area. I lost count at ten. It was incredible. It’s hard to explain the astonishment I felt when this started happening. I also shared the above rainbow on Facebook, and a dear friend of mine commented:

Did you know that the most spectacular rainbow displays happen when half the sky is still dark with raining clouds and the observer is at a spot with clear sky in the direction of the sun? I feel like this is why Heavenly Father keeps sending you rainbows. Even though part of your life is definitely filled with constant dark clouds right now, you keep trying to keep your sweet face pointed toward “The Son”. You deserve rainbows! You bring light to others and make a difference in this world!! I love you!!!”

I don’t want to share that to emphasize any greatness on my part but I feel like I truly was being blessed with so rainbows in part because I was sharing this miracle of faith with others, like she says. Her sweet message meant so much to me. I was overwhelmed by God’s love for me and all I wanted to do was share that with others, if by some way to help others understand His great love for all of us.

I had many friends and family share rainbows with me that week too. I won’t put them all on here because there are too many! But one of them in particular came at just the right time. I had been crying in my closet (yup that pretty much sums up how it went for a long time) and I was so down and just needed to feel the reassurance of God’s love for me. We had just lost another family member recently, a teenage cousin to suicide, and I needed to know that it was going to be okay. I poured my heart out in anguish to God and also thanked him for all the rainbows He had sent me. After I got my crying out, maybe ten minutes later I came out and decided to check Facebook. I opened it to find this sweet message:

IMG_6291

This message meant the world to me and was so comforting. I couldn’t help but think that one rainbow was for Covey, and one was for our cousin. Now I’m telling you, these rainbows kept coming, and most often when I needed them most. Most of them I saw with my own eyes, but many were shared with me at the most opportune times.

Another one that is particularly special to me happened a few weeks after this week of rainbows. I had been in my closet crying again. I should say sobbing. The physically raw kind where I had wept so hard I couldn’t see straight, my face was red and rashy and my nose and ears were plugged. I could barely breathe, let alone cry anymore, so I just laid down on my back and stared up at the wall. And to my complete and utter surprise, a rainbow flashed across the wall of my closet. It lasted for maybe a minute or so and then faded away. It lasted just long enough for me to see the marvel of it and snap a picture. I was so overwhelmed by the miracle of it, tears started pouring down my face.

IMG_3543

This was truly a rainbow that shocked me. Without going into the details of how my bathroom/closet are laid out, just know that there isn’t very good natural light in there and I have no idea how that rainbow even came to be. But I know without a doubt that it was sent to comfort me and give me courage. And when I walked out, I saw this little guy below on one of the cabinet doors.

IMG_3545

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been driving in the car this last year and I’ve seen a little rainbow patch in the sky. It’s very often on days that there is no rain and the sky is fairly clear. Here’s several of those ones captured in different months this last year. I’ve had a few like this shared with me too. Unfortunately these small ones don’t capture as well with a camera phone, but they are there I promise. It never ceases to amaze me how the timing would be just right for me to be looking in the sky or driving in my car at just the right moment to view these little rainbows burst into view and then disappear.

IMG_6295

We saw this one below on our way to a local festival last fall.

14883468_10153927887751120_3884988802635503009_o

I’ve seen some unusual rainbows in the sky too. I saw two of these inverted rainbows last year, one in October and one in December. I had never seen a rainbow like this before then.

IMG_6296

Another time last November we were leaving our house to go to church, and as I walked out the front door my son stopped me and excitedly exclaimed, “Mom! You have a rainbow on your face!” Sure enough, I did. You can see part of it on the wreath too. I was nervous that day because I had been asked to speak in front of our congregation and I was anxious about being real and getting emotional in front of so many people. It really calmed my heart seeing that funny little rainbow on my face!

IMG_4261

Oh my, have you seen enough yet?! How many more should I share? Here’s just a couple more I’ve seen while in the car. The two on the bottom are the opposite ends of the same rainbow my husband and I happened to see as we were driving opposite directions in different cars. It was on the day of our nine month anniversary of losing Covey. That was a hard day for whatever reason. Pretty much that first year was measured by months and every month anniversary was hard in its own way. Although now that I’ve hit that one year mark, I don’t think about it so much on a month to month basis.

 

Below are several more rainbows that we saw near our neighbors house on different days this last year.

 

And here are some random rainbows I’ve spotted! Below, the one on the left was taken when we went to the zoo this last February and we were getting off the monorail. My son spotted the rainbow this time again, it was on my hand as I was using the railing to get up. (I had him pose with his hand so I could capture a picture haha) The one on my windshield was back in December, and I noticed it in the reflection of the building we were parked in front of. Sometimes I see ones like this and just think to myself, “Hi Covey, I’m glad you could be part of my day today. I love you son.”

 

Back in November I had been having a really hard day and I kept getting the thought that I should look at the sympathy card that was sent from Covey’s neurologist many months prior to then. Random right? Well, I dug through the cards we had received offering condolences and found the one from the neurologist. The only thing I’d remembered about it was that it had come in a standard rectangular envelope. I couldn’t believe it when I opened it and saw a rainbow staring back at me. Honestly it made me chuckle. What were the odds?! I’ve come to realize though that the odds are much better than we think! God is so personal and will whisper by the Holy Spirit to our hearts and minds ways we can feel His love for us.

IMG_4242

This one below I saw on our 11 month anniversary. It was hard getting to that date. And it was hard coming to grips with the fact that it had been almost a full year since I’d seen Covey or been able to hug him or talk to him. Who am I kidding? It’s still hard to come to grips with that. Some days it hits me harder than others. I was so grateful to have that little rainbow shining in the sky for me that day.

IMG_5677

This next rainbow is a special rainbow to my neighbor (a different neighbor from the ones that I creepily take photos of their house…), but I didn’t know this until after I saw it. We were outside in the evening a couple months ago and this gorgeous rainbow formed in the sky. I immediately grabbed my phone to take some pictures of it and for whatever reason I decided to sit and watch it for as long as it stayed in the sky. This amazing double rainbow stayed bright in the sky for a FULL HOUR. It wasn’t until later that evening that I found out my dear neighbor’s husband had passed away that afternoon. I undoubtedly know this rainbow was for her. A message of peace. Of love. Of comfort. I know I am not the only one to have received messages of hope and peace through rainbows. They are such a beautiful symbol of God’s love for us.

IMG_6290

I could share with you more photos, but at this point you may be sick of scrolling through them! We saw an amazing one on our way through New Mexico this summer and the most recent one I saw was at the park a couple weeks ago. They still continue to pop up and I thank God for every one that I see.

The most important thing I have learned from my miracle of rainbows is that God is absolutely aware of us and He is aware of the timing of everything. In Doctrine & Covenants 130:7 it reads “all things for their glory are manifest, past, present, and future, and are continually before the Lord.” God knows the timing of everything. He sees past, present, and future. God doesn’t make horrible things happen in our lives. But He most definitely is aware of when they will happen by sheer nature of this mortal existence, and He will place beauty and strength and help along the way to see us through. I hope you have felt some glimmer of His love for you as you’ve read through this and shared in my miracle of rainbows.

“Therefore I will look unto the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me.” Micah 7:7

 

2 thoughts on “My Miracle of Rainbows

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s