The older I get, the more spiritual questions I seem to have. I wouldn’t call it doubt, but perhaps a greater awareness. It is definitely true that the more I know, the more I realize I don’t know. And some of the questions that have arisen over the years have sincerely troubled me. I’ve been contemplating this a lot lately and am determined that we are all going to reach these trials of faith at different times of our lives.

First, we shouldn’t be surprised when this happens. We just don’t have all the answers in this life (science alone is proof of this) and sometimes we are going to have deep questions. And that is okay! There is no reason to allow a question of faith to become a crisis of faith. Questions give us an opportunity to learn and grow our faith, and many of the greatest modern revelations (and scientific advancements) began with a question. In addition, spiritual questions are by no means proof of religious falsehoods. They simply provide an opportunity for further growth and knowledge.

After our oldest son died I experienced the greatest phenomenon. I felt such tremendous grief and pain, and yet at the same time the greatest joy, love, and peace. I was baffled by this most unusual experience. It was so strange to feel such polar opposite emotions at the same time and yet I did. It’s made me think that if those opposites can coexist, surely it’s possible for us to have deep spiritual questions while at the same time having deep undeniable faith.

When I have spiritual questions, I try to remember these things-

Answers Don’t Come Through Anger

First, God speaks to us through the Holy Ghost and if we want to receive spiritual answers from Him, we need to be prepared spiritually. We need to actively live His commandments, study His words, and get down on our knees in humble prayer. When we are angry, contentious, or hard hearted, the spirit will not be able to speak to us and give us the answers we seek. It is impossible to expect true spiritual understanding unless our hearts are softened and ready to listen. Use caution when looking to sources or individuals that are coming from a place of anger because “he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.” (3 Nephi 11:29)

I am Happier When I Faithfully Live According to the Knowledge I Have

When I am struggling with spiritual questions, I also like to remember the simple fact that I am exponentially happier when I actively live the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have had times in my life when I haven’t been as faithful and there is a stark difference that I cannot deny. The simple truth is, I am happier and more at peace when I live the gospel and approach my lack of knowledge with temperance and patience. It also helps to actively remember times in my life when I have received witnesses of my faith, because I have had many. Remembering those moments can buoy me when I am struggling.

Adam and Eve Showed How to Patiently Wait for Answers

I also try to remember Father Adam and Mother Eve. When they were cast out of the garden of Eden, they were given commandments, one of which was to offer sacrifices. They faithfully obeyed and it wasn’t until many days later that an angel came to them and asked them why they were offering sacrifices. They answered that they didn’t know why except that they were commanded to do so. The angel told them that it was symbolic of the death and sacrifice of Jesus Christ. (Moses 5:4-8)

In the scriptures it says after many “days” but we don’t know how long they performed sacrifices before knowing why. It could have been years. I lean toward years since prior to this interaction with the angel, it states how Adam and Eve had had children and their children started having children. So theoretically, they were obeying a commandment they didn’t understand for years, possibly decades. But they were true and faithful to the knowledge that was available to them. I try to remember that if they could be so faithful and patient, I can try and follow their example and do the same.

Also, they received greater knowledge only after they had been obedient to the knowledge they did have. How can I expect God to grant me greater knowledge if I am not being true and faithful to the knowledge I currently do have? If I am not studying from reliable sources or getting on my knees to pray but still expecting answers, that is like taking a course and expecting to know everything without studying the material. It just doesn’t work that way.

Hold on to The Things that Really Matter

Another chapter of scripture that I have come to appreciate when I have questions with no ready answers is Alma 40. In this chapter, the prophet Alma is speaking to his son Corianton about the resurrection of the dead and what happens to our spirits and physical bodies after we die. He tells his son that this is something “I have inquired diligently of God that I might know” (Alma 40:3, 9) then goes on to give an incredible description of what the resurrection of the dead will look like.

The knowledge that he shares about this gospel principle is invaluable on its own, but what really strikes me in this chapter is how many time he uses the phrases “I do not say” and “it mattereth not”. (Alma 40: 5, 8, 20, 21) Both of these phrases he uses to clarify that, even after the knowledge he was given by an angel of the Lord, he still didn’t have all the answers regarding the resurrection, and he was okay with that. Again, this is a prophet of the Lord basically saying, “I don’t know everything about this but I know enough.”

If we want to know something, then let’s diligently seek for the answers like Alma, and also, let’s remember to be focused on what we do have. We can’t possibly for a moment expect to understand and fathom all of God’s wisdom, His laws of the universe, or what He has in store for us right now. And honestly, we don’t need to at this time.

The one thing that I know for certain is God the Father and Jesus Christ love me, they know me personally despite how inconsequential and infinitesimally small I am, and they want what is best for me. They have also given me enough to succeed and have joy in this life, and make my way back to them. One of the greatest resources they have provided for me is a living prophet and a roadmap to receiving spiritual knowledge and revelation. (Revelation for the Church, Revelation for Our Lives)

If you are struggling with spiritual questions that don’t make sense, remember to live faithful to the knowledge you have, seek reliable and trustworthy sources for answers, and seek to know and feel God’s personal intimate love for you. And be patient; with yourself, with those around you, and with heaven.